I Did This Thing

 A few weeks ago, I wrote about a photo shoot I was doing. It was exciting and fun! And it was something that I was doing for myself, above and beyond all else.

My purpose in doing this shoot was two-fold. One was to allow me to see the beauty others claim to see. And number two was to promote Body Love, loving the body you're in no matter what the size. 

Now, you've seen pictures of me. Enough to know that I am not a skinny girl. I'm plus-size and at the age of 48, I don't really see that changing a lot. However, it doesn't mean that I'm not beautiful. 

I really wanted other women to see these pictures and say, "Wow! If she can do it, I can, too!" I wanted to empower women to straighten their crowns and walk like the queens they are.

I did my personal shoot on Saturday, then did a shoot for the Boudie Babes-Ambassador group on Sunday. I was exhausted by the time the weekend was over. My emotions were on a roller coaster. I was not feeling beautiful or sexy at all by the end of Sunday. But can I tell you something? 

Looking at the pictures? Wow! I look amazing! I look as beautiful as I felt that day as I was posing for these photos. And the man that I shared them with? The only response I got from him was "Smiles" and "They are beautiful." (They also sparked a conversation in which I was told that he's very much a boob guy. We also spun out some very hot topics that had us both smiling when we said our goodnights.)

So, with that all being said, let me show you:

I'm here to tell you that you don't have to be a smaller size to make these shoots work. This is me. When I look at these photos, I see sexy. I see confident. I see beauty. I see a Queen taking her power and using it to her advantage.

Tomorrow is the Day

 Tomorrow is a very big day for me and I am so very excited!

To others, it will be an ordinary Saturday. But for me? For me, tomorrow is a sort of awakening. 

Years ago, Roseanne did an episode where she did a boudoir photo shoot for her wedding anniversary. When I watched that episode, my only thought was that it seemed to be a very freeing experience. Problem was, back then, a lot of the boudoir photographers were a bit on the seedier side.

Fast forward to 2020 when I discovered a boudoir photographer who has this extraordinary talent that allows a woman's true beauty to shine through. I signed up for a session and have managed to talk myself in and out of actually doing the session at least 30 times in the last few months. But tomorrow? Tomorrow is the day!

I have spent the last month preparing my wardrobe, making sure my hair was trimmed to the perfect style, choosing the look to achieve, and watching my self-confidence escalate.

The last week, I have done facials, gotten my nails done, scrubbed and moisturized myself until my skin is as smooth as possible.

Nails by Pa

And tomorrow is the day. The day when I let go of my ideas of what beauty looks like. The day when I make myself vulnerable. The day that I refuse to look at my flaws. The day that I see what the people who love me best have been seeing all along. The day when I open myself up to the process. The day where I believe that I'm sexy and beautiful.

Tomorrow is the day. Whether it is an extraordinary day or just a normal Saturday, embrace it and the journey! We only get one life! Live it to the fullest!!