You Do You, Boo!

Believe me when I say that I'm speaking to myself as much as anyone when I say this.

You've made bad decisions? It's okay.
You've made mistakes? It's okay.
This isn't a life sentence. You're allowed to use that lesson as a jumping off point. You're allowed to grow from your past. You are not the woman you once were. You've grown. You've changed. You're allowed all of that!

Self-love looks like so many things. It may be a mani/pedi or it may be spending a day in your pajamas, binge watching Disney movies (or vet shows on Disney+, I'm just sayin'). It could be giving yourself a facial or cleaning your house. Or, as I was once lucky enough to have (before this quarantine hit), a six hour lunch with your best friend where tears and laughter took over for that time. Sometimes, it's letting go of the baggage that is weighing you down and keeping you from being the best version of yourself for yourself.

That is what self-love is all about. Doing what's best for you in that moment. Society pressures us to do more and be more. Even in quarantine, I'm seeing posts about bettering yourself and learning a new hobby. Seriously? Some days, I just don't want to. Some days, I want to wallow in my misery and eat comfort food. Other days, I go for a walk and enjoy the sunshine. Then, I open up a vein and write a blogpost. 

One thing my beautiful goddess of a best friend tells me often is this: You do you, Boo!

She doesn't always understand why I enjoy the things I do and vice versa. But in a world where pressure to be absolutely everything to everyone reigns, it's nice to hear those words. 

So, from one woman to another, let me say the thing that maybe you need to hear most: It's okay. You do you, Boo!

I Am Beautiful at 47

Being beautiful, fortunately, doesn't have an expiration date. You can be beautiful at any age. It isn't only the young women with their golden locks or the older women with their gorgeous grays. Every woman is beautiful at every age.

So, let's really get this journey started, okay? I am 47 years old and am on the downhill tumble to 48. And, trust me, this is not easy for me. I had so much I wanted to do and I expected to be in such a different space than I am in. However...I am so very blessed and I can honestly say that I wouldn't change a thing.

For years, I was told to act my age. I've always refused. Why act older than you feel? Why is it an embarrassment when women don't act in a manner that society believes they should portray at a particular age? Call me a rebel, but dammit, I am tired of society telling me who I should be!

I color my hair fun colors. I dress a lot younger. But, what's inside, now that's where the attitude lives. Anyone who knows me outside of the internet knows there is a HUGE attitude within me and often it emerges in ways that some would call "rebellion".

My mother will tell you that I was born with the attitude of living life on my own terms. And why change that now? I spent a lifetime trying to fit into the molds I was told to fit into and I wasn't happy. Once I broke free of everyone else's expectations, I've been told that I am more myself than I have ever been before. Well, look at that, will ya? 

I've also been told I carry myself with confidence. Now, that I will laugh at simply because I have very little. At least, when it comes to my looks. My brains and my knowledge of certain subjects? Absolutely. My mind is a very unique place and I know what I know and I know it well. Put me on a college campus and you can rest assured that confidence oozes from my pores. However, you put me out in the world and I try to meld into the background. (How a woman with multicolored hair does that, I'm still not sure.)

Yesterday, I was at work. There was a client that came through the office doors and her words touched me. "I'm so glad you're here. You know so much and can answer just about any question. I'm just so thankful." I laughed and told her that I had her fooled since I'm just fumbling along most days. It made her chuckle, but, damn, it felt good to hear that I'm helping people.

I've spent 47 years on this planet and I've learned a lot of lessons along the way. I live softly and love loudly. I believe most people are good and deserve to be loved. My heart is filled to overflowing with compassion, empathy, and pure happiness. I've been through Hell, but I've come out ahead. My wounds and scars are what makes me unique and my uniqueness makes me beautiful...to the outside world. 

I've got a long way to go and I'm learning new things about myself every single day. And you, my dear, are not alone. We are all in this together. 

Be humble and kind to others, but most importantly, to yourself. This life isn't about the destination, it's all about the journey. And, I think, we're all in for one helluva ride!

What Makes You Beautiful?

This has been a journey I have been on for most of my life. I hear the word "beautiful" used to describe me and I scoff. I don't see it. I see every single flaw and I fight against the positive descriptive words that people use.

Does it make it untrue? No. One of my favorite memes that I've seen is the comparison in roses and sunflowers, fireworks and Christmas lights. They are all beautiful, but they're unique to one another. 

Just like women! We are all so special and unique. I sat in a Women's Studies class and we were discussing intersectionality. We are not JUST women. We are very similar, yet so diverse. Some of us are mothers, others are not. Some work outside in the world, others stay home. Some have jobs, some go to school. Some are married, others in relationships, others are single. And the list goes on.

YOU are special! In a time when this virus is keeping us in our homes and some are glued to social media, we get lost in the world that exists behind our screens. This is a reminder for you to not get lost in everyone else's idea of happiness. You don't know the struggle behind the pictures. The happy images you see about someone's life isn't always the truth.

I wanted to create a safe space for women to meet up, comment, share their stories, and find support. That is why this blog was created. There will be no bashing allowed. This is a no judgement zone. 

So, let's come together and have conversations about what makes us beautiful. One of these days in the near future, I will share my journey and story for you all. If you would like to share your story, please comment here and I'll contact you. You have no idea who needs to hear your story, who needs to know they're not alone, and the difference you could make. 

Have a blessed day! You are loved!

Welcome!

Good morning and welcome to a brand new blog! I am so excited to be able to share this journey with you! 
A few years ago, I did a class project about being beautiful at any age. Life got the best of me and I deleted the blog though I'd been asked to keep it going. Making a difference didn't seem to matter to me as much when depression overtook my life.
However, recently I met a woman who inspired me to start a new blog and have some very real discussions. So, here we are and I'm so excited to be back, blogging about things that matter.
The name of this blog popped into my head this morning as I was getting ready for work and here we are. 
Beauty is found in so many places besides a woman's looks. Her heart. Her confidence. Her drive. Her soul. All of these things make a woman beautiful. In a society so hell-bent on only seeing the outside of a woman, I think we need to delve deeper. I was raised to believe that beauty comes from the inside and shines out.
I know so many beautiful women. We come in all shapes, sizes, and colors.
So, please join me on this journey! It will never be boring and it's always nice to have a friend to walk with you, even if it is only for a few miles.