The Art of Accepting a Compliment

Why is it so hard for us to accept a compliment? Maybe you don't have that issue. But I do. Someone compliments something I've made and I can always point out a flaw. "Oh, thank you, but it didn't turn out like I'd hoped." Someone comes into my home and says, "It looks amazing" and my response usually involves picking at some little thing that didn't get done. Nevermind trying to compliment me personally. 

I am told often throughout my day that I'm beautiful or amazing or incredible or any other wonderful adjective that can be used to describe another human. And I shrug it off because people see a mere illusion when they see me, right? But there is one voice that has broken through the cacophony and brought me to my knees.

I have someone in my life who insists on a photo of me every single day. And with every pic I send, he will tell me that I'm pretty or beautiful. He's half a world away at the moment, but he always takes time from his day to make me feel so special. He gets me to brag on myself, my work ethic, or any other thing that makes me feel like I'm enough. 

When we started this, he would compliment me and I'd always find something negative to say. I would point out each and every flaw possible. When I started getting remarks from him saying things like "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right?" or "Do you not believe me?," I really began to think about the heart of the man paying me these compliments. 

What's he getting from telling me how beautiful I am? Nothing, other than the satisfaction of making me feel good about myself. What gain does he receive from telling me how perfect or amazing I am in his eyes? Again, nothing. He simply wants me to know how he feels and how he sees me. 

He knows I'm difficult. He gets that my self-esteem is high some days and extremely low other days. But can I tell you something that I don't think even he understands? 

I look forward to sending him these pictures every day. Whether he gets one with a full-face of make-up or one where I am still in bed with my face full of wrinkles from my pillowcase and bed head, I find beauty within as I snap each pic. 

I used to make him ask each day. Because, in my opinion, who could possibly need to see ME every single day? Turns out that this man does. And I don't make him ask anymore. Even on days when I feel like shit, I still send him a pic. 

I've discovered that he does that to make sure that I'm okay. Some days, I receive the message that says "You look stressed." You can hide a lot behind a computer screen. You cannot hide much in a photo...especially when you are the end of your rope and ready to fall apart. 

Don't get me wrong...we still tease and pick at each other because that's who we are. As much as I have grown accustomed to reading his appreciation of my beauty, inside and out, it is the "You make my heart smile" or "You make me laugh" that fills my heart to the capacity that it overflows all over the place. 

I grew up in a family where my grandma and mom were seldom in pictures. If they were, they would put their hands over their faces and try to hide. You know the pictures I crave seeing these days? Yep, it is pictures of Grandma and Mom simply because it brings them closer to me.

Some day, I hope the man who is a half a world away reads this and knows that no matter what happens between us... he understands how far he's brought me in learning to simply say "Thank you" when he gives me compliment.

 

Falling Apart

This week has been a lesson in how wonderful things fall apart in order for even better things to come together.

In my last blogpost, I was in a bad spot with someone I trusted and confided in. However, I came to the conclusion that I needed to do something big to change my stars. In a matter of days, I did exactly that.

I also had to let go of something that meant more to me than anything else. In hanging on, I had done myself more damage than I realized. Once I let go, everything began to fall into place. And I do mean everything. Do you want to know what happened?

I became happy! I found such joy in life. The dark clouds parted and the sunshine lit up my world. My happy lights me up from the inside out which only makes me more beautiful. That beauty boosts my confidence. My confidence boosts my level of sexy. My level of sexy boosts my confidence higher and the circle keeps going on and on.

I am doing this thing where I am helping a very dear lady and friend promote her business. I was terrified when I first approached her, but the more I let go of things, the more steady and balanced I'm feeling. And I cannot wait to see what comes out of these next 6 months. She knows she is changing lives with what she does. She is showing women that they are beautiful and sexy, which boosts their confidence. And there are friendships that are forming. Deep lasting friendships that only secure the foundation of what my friend is building. 

By letting go of the things that are bad for us (relationships, thoughts, insecurities, inhibitions, beliefs), we grow into more than we ever dreamed we could be and we become more loving toward ourselves. In everything falling apart, something even better can come together to take its place.

So, as the world is falling apart in front of us, maybe this isn't exactly the year we were expecting. However, from it may spring forth a better, stronger world.

I know, for me, 2020 has not been what I expected by any stretch of the imagination, but what is coming is so much better than I dared dream was possible. I just had to let things fall apart so that better things could come together.