Can We Just Not?

So, I'm about to get on my soapbox for a few minutes. If you don't want to read about plus size women issues, then, this might be a blog post for you to skip. 

This week, I had a very petite young lady ask me about my special someone. Very proud, I pulled out my phone and showed her. Her reaction? It almost brought me to my knees.

She literally looked at the pictures I showed her, then looked at me with a shocked look on her face. "Seriously?" she said. I have no idea how she meant it, but my anxiety took it to mean, "A man who looks that incredible could never be interested in a troll like you." 

I know I'm not a troll. But I also have my own issues that I'm dealing with. This man is younger than me. He's definitely in better shape than I am. And, I think he's sexy as hell. What's funny? He'd tell you the exact same thing about me!

In the new journey I'm on, I'm finding more beautiful, fit men who are interested in a woman who is on the plusher side of sizes. And, I'll be honest, I love it. None of these men have said that I'd be beautiful if only... Instead, they don't put any qualifiers in their compliments. It is quite simple from the mouths of very plain spoken men, "You are beautiful."

Before you ask, yes, these men are seeing more than just my face. My boudoir photos? Yeah, these are the ones that are getting the most comments. 

So, can we just not? Not look surprised when you see a very plain woman with a model perfect man or a plus-size woman with a physically fit man or a beautiful woman with a man you don't find attractive. Can we please just keep our opinions to ourselves? My mama always said, "If you ain't got nothing nice to say, then keep your mouth shut." Can we please just let people be happy? You don't get to judge someone else's relationship unless you want your own relationship judged.  

You don't get to judge what they see in each other. Because, trust me, you're not seeing half of what he sees in her. He sees her heart and how deeply she loves. He sees her face without make-up sporting wrinkles from her pillowcase and her hair a mess. He sees that smile she gets when something sparks her sense of humor. He sees her head thrown back in laughter at some silly little joke. He sees her eyes sparkle with passion for whatever thing she's working on in the moment. He sees her struggle and still reassures her that she is the most beautiful being in his world. He also sees her cry when someone hurts her heart with their cruelty, whether it is intentional or not. And he sees her soul and the kindness she gives the world. 

Just know that all the time you're tearing their relationship apart and judging them, wondering what he could possibly see in "Her," he's working double time to make her understand that he's not going anywhere, that her beauty goes so much deeper than her physical appearance. He's proving to this woman he loves that going beyond the looking glass is more important than what the world holds in importance.

Making It Through

 Hey! It's been a hot minute since I've checked in with you all and I am so sorry!  I hope everyone is okay. If you aren't, drop me a line. I'm more than happy to chat with you.

I started a new job recently and it just wears away at my soul. I am not kidding when I tell you how awful I feel at the end of each day. I feel like even Satan is bowing at my feet and saying, "I'm not worthy!" Yeah, that's how bad the job is.

Which means that I take a lot of time for self-care. I don't mean pampering myself with facials and foot massages. I mean, letting all the stress fall away in the shower as I cry, making myself comfort food, and watching shows that are light-hearted and funny. I just need that at the end of every single day.

A few people have asked me to start a group on Facebook where women can gather and lift one another up. I am working on it. I am part of two such amazing groups. One is specific to the state I live in and the other is relatively new.  I ask that you be patient with me while I figure out the logistics and how much time I can dedicate to this. There have been other suggestions made by those who know me personally and I'm really trying to figure out how to bring it all to fruition. 

It's hard when you find your passion! LOL Because then you have to put in the work and pray that it pays off. And having the faith to bring it all about, well, that takes a lot more strength than I have at the moment. However, I have my tribe standing beside me, supporting me to help bring it all about.

I want to thank you for walking with me on this journey. I hope you will continue on with me because I truly believe it is only going to get better. Your support and your comments really do go a long way in showing me that this path is actually where I am meant to be.

In the coming weeks (I hope), I will make a second page here. I will share links to the things I love. Whether it is clothing or other things that keep me sane, I will share the things that make me happy. 

For now, I will wish you a blessed week! Please never hesitate to reach out to me. I will always respond though it may take me a day or two, but you are important to me. Be blessed!